1. KAMIKAZE

All I’ve ever done is doubt myself
That I could make a difference in good health
Harm reduction for an unseen future
One performative vital suture

There’s poetry to being the last of our kind
As long as I spend my time wisely I don’t mind
Kicking this old can down the road
I never thought this was a hand I would fold
Early expiration, leaving on a permanent vacation

Too many of us, who’s it gonna be?
The answer is right in front of me
I’ll take myself out

Circular thinking, unproductive reasoning
Fixture for change
America’s in first place, somehow we all lose the race
Means to an end

There’s poetry to being the last of our kind
As long as I spend my time wisely I don’t mind
Kicking this old can down the road
I never thought this was a hand I would fold
Early expiration, leaving on a permanent vacation

Too many of us, who’s it gonna be?
The answer is right in front of me
I’ll take myself out

Here our hero lies,
DOA by DIY
A donor to the greater good
Surviving this life pact is the most selfish act
Why don’t you just give back and have a heart attack


2. EMPTY NESTING DOLL

I’m sorry I never told you I cared
I didn’t think it meant much
I never was aware
The house you built
It was too much of a home
The guilt is harder to stomach once we’re old and alone
Comfort is too much of an ask
When digging up regret from the past
A joyous occasion overshadowed with grief
Peel back the pain and find a sense of relief

Cut me open hear me out
Bleed me dry of the useless doubt
I’ve grown lines on my face
Missing you- a road I thought I’d never take

At no fault but my own
I thought I’d finally grown
Past the petty bullshit
But now I think I’m losing it

The photos pile up high
Wish we had more time to ask why?
Now I try to make sense
It’s unfortunate but it’s a part of life

At no fault but my own
I thought I’d finally grown
Past the petty bullshit
I’m losing it

It might be time to shut my fucking mouth
No one listens
No one listens to me

If I may make a suggestion
Stop asking all these useless questions
I can’t help but feel this way
A heaviness I’ve never known- I’ll be ok
Internalize, rationalize- any means to make it through the day


3. THROWING STONES

THROWING STONES
If you won’t take me at my words
Twist them up as if they’ve never been heard
Blanketed assumptions of ill intent
Trial by fire, jury of the discontent

It’s what I want
It’s what you’ve got
I’m not satisfied it’s never enough

Blindly throwing stones, you don’t care who they hurt
Nothing’s changing for you, for better or worse
If What’s mine is yours what’s left for me?

It’s what I want
It’s what you’ve got
I’m not satisfied it’s never enough

Caught up with your own jealous greed
You think you’ve fucking earned anything?

No accountability for what you do or say
Tearing down the innocent because you never got your way
A life sentence has just begun
The damage has been done

Enough is too much, it’s never enough

It’s what I want
It’s what you’ve got
I’m not satisfied it’s never enough


4. TEMPERED EXPECTATIONS

Society divided by the haves and have nots
A measuring stick made of what you don’t got
Resentment based in self discontent
Material obsession mistaken for aggression
A glass half-full spilled by lack of motivation
No accounting for the time you’ve spent

The hill you’re climbing it’s not so steep
But I’ve grown sore from the grudges you keep

You’re waiting for a handout that’s never gonna come
A balancing act on the back of all the past work you’ve done
They say patience is a virtue but hard work is king
It’s easy to forget that the world doesn’t owe you a single thing

Tempered expectations, reasonable returns


5. COSMIC JOKE

What we see isn’t all we affect
What we get isn’t endless
Living for today I’d consider selfish
Life in certain death
Kevlar vest of lies, insulated disease
Avoiding prosecution we do as we please
Backed into a corner can’t turn away
Facing judgement day

I wanna know how did we get here?
Where do we go? Can’t break away

Meaningful existence, none other than mine
Nihilistic notions are somewhat divine
Apathetic values? What about me?
We are all guilty
Comedy in loss, tragic surprise
Coping mechanism I can’t deny
Media portrayal of a hoax
We’re the fucking joke


6. HOWARD BEALE

Consumption is a disease
Organized crime influencing me

Confused
Don’t worry about the truth
Amused
We’ll tell you what you wanna hear

Mental breakdown or total clarity
The line is drawn with steady hands
Unconcerned with fact or fiction
The line is blurred with shaky hands
Ambiguous by design, premeditated delusions
Puppet master hold my hand
Lead us in division


7. HEDONIC TREADMILL

Running in circles going nowhere
Running in circles going nowhere fast

More money, new car
Better body, new guitar
We all reap what we sow
Superficial happiness ebbs and flows
Endless consumption to spend one week high
Discontent with living sometimes I’d rather die

I’m addicted
Frustrated, complicated, isolated, incapacitated

Hedonic adaptation isn’t lost on me
Spreading yourself thin between wants and needs
Nickel and dimed until we’re content
The high won’t last long, sadly codependent


8. LEAVE IT ALONE

We make our jokes to hide from the truth
This year I learned I’m not that close to you
Distance is nothing, the fact remains
Family and fortune aren’t one in the same

Say what you wanna say
But there’s no fucking way I’ll ever back down
Leave it alone
There’s a difference between what I think and know


9. MORPHINE

Do or die it’s your choice to make
Live or die we don’t have a say

I don’t want you hurting
As if you have a choice
I don’t want your pain
I’ll gladly take it all away

Place syringe under tongue
Drain fluid from your lungs
The culmination of all feeling
Some say the best die young

It’s not what we want
It’s not what we need
Rest assured we’ll be fine
We’ve got more blood to bleed
No stone’s been left unturned
No lessons left to learn

Live or die we don’t have a say
Live or die we have no say
Through tears I beg and plead
Let go and rest easy