1. THE HOUSE RULES

So you're tired and you're beat and you worked all week
And you need a place where you can let it go
Where the girls go wild and the boys play hard
And you need a little more than just the radio

Well, here's your open invitation
With just a couple regulations
And I warn you, son, only come to have
We don't take kindly to serious
So leave your troubles at the door
Unless you want some in here

[Chorus]
Welcome to my house, buckle up tight
Everybody sings and drinks and laughs and gets high
It's the country music, a little soul
It's a rock and roll rodeo
We don't tolerate no sittin' around
Everybody's dancin', groovin', and gettin' on down
So before you come in here with some kind of attitude
Better read the house rules

Around 11 o'clock when the front door locks
And the boys start raisin' the bottle
Where the girls do the thing with the Mardi Gras beads
You know they're gonna show 'em if they got 'em

And no matter what your story
A good time is mandatory

Well, rule number seven says don't touch the women
But they can grab whatever they want to

[Chorus]

There's no such thing as last call
We'll pick 'em up when they fall
We share the same bathroom stall
Says the sign on the wall

One, two, three

[Chorus]

Lord, you better read the house rules
Oh, soh, you better read the house rules
Two, three, Jay
You better read the house rules