The Wonder Years : No Closer to Heaven

Punk-Rock / USA
(2015 - Hopeless Records)
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Teksty

1. BROTHERS &

We're no saviours if we can't save our brothers (x3)
We're no saviours, we're no saviours


2. CARDINALS

Cardinal crashed into my window, I think he might die
I'll plan him a funeral, I'll read his last rites
Cause I know what he saw in that reflection of light
On the glass was a better life

Staring at a hole in your chest that's been dug there for decades
American broken promises
Caught between the lies you've been fed
And a war with your bloodstream
I should have been there when you needed a friend
I was off on my own again
Selfish and stupid

[Chorus]
So if you call me back or let me in
I swear I'll never let you down again
I know the devil you've been fighting with
I swear I'll never let you down again

I had that nightmare again
You're seven and helpless, angry as hell
And you balled up your fists but I laughed at your swings
And I beat you half-conscious
I know that I failed you, woke up in a sweat
I want those years back

[Chorus]

We're no saviors if we can't save our brothers (x2)

[Chorus]

I'll never let you down again


3. A SONG FOR PATSY CLINE

My airbag light's been on for weeks
And I keep having dreams
Where I go through the windshield but I don't fix it
Patsy Cline came and sang to me
She told everybody
How she knew she would die soon before she did

I hear her cry on "Faded Love"
The air in August here's heavy with salt and smoke and stings my lungs

My airbag light's been on for weeks
And I can feel it mock me
It's bittersweet like laughter through crooked teeth
I want to move so far from everything
That they could hear my heart beat
And then break as I lay dying in the street

They'll think the ice cracked at the lake
They'll think a tire blew out and a car crashed on the interstate

[Chorus]
It's hard to watch you walk away
These aren't the vultures that were circling just yesterday
It's hard to watch you walk away
(It's hard to watch you walk away)
Picking at bones, at what's left of your misery

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh (x2)

So when my vocal chords rip
So when my knees give in
So when I bury all of this
Who's gonna give a shit
If I'm breathing?

[Chorus]

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
My airbag light's been on for weeks
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
My airbag light's been on for weeks


4. I DON'T LIKE WHO I WAS THEN

Tossed around like sea glass
And you rounded out my edges
I'll feel better when the headaches go away
I've got a scar across my forehead
Turning purple in the cold
From a night at Shore Memorial
I was sixteen and afraid
Turned away
And I'm working babyface
Out of Mid-South in the eighties
I kept a blade hidden in my wrist tape

[Chorus]
I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run till my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough

Hidden in the tall grass
In the naked light of day
Put my past self in the ground
I've been dancing on the grave
I'm not the person that I was then
You're standing in the way
I was bitter, I was careless
I was nineteen and afraid

But you deserve more from me
I don't know why I would say those things
But you deserve more than me
And I'm trying every day

[Chorus]

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the baby teeth I buried
You were the sounds of distant cars

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the banner that says "no one"
That I tattooed across my heart

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You scattered like ashes across every song that I write
You are the light pollution stars

[Chorus]


5. CIGARETTES & SAINTS

Twice a week I pass by the church that held your funeral
And the pastor's words come pouring down like rain
How he called you a sinner and said now you walk with Jesus
So the drugs that took your life aren't gonna cause you any pain
I don't think he even knew your name
And I refuse to kneel and pray
I won't remember you that way

I lit you a candle in every cathedral across Europe
And I hope you know you're still my patron saint
I tried to forgive, but I can't forget the cigar in his fist
I know that they were heartsick, but I need someone to blame
And I know how they blamed me
I know what you'd say
You'd tell me it was your fault
I should put all my arrows away

I'm sure there ain't a heaven
But that don't mean I don't like to picture you there
I'll bet you're bumming cigarettes off saints
And I'm sure you're still singing
But I'll bet that you're still just a bit out of key
That crooked smile pushing words across your teeth

Cause you were heat lightning
Yeah, you were a storm that never rolled in
You were the northern lights in a southern town
A caustic fleeting thing
I'll bury your memories in the garden
And watch them grow with the flowers in spring
I'll keep you with me

These wolves in their suits and ties
Saying, "Kid, you can trust me"
Charming southern drawl, sunken eyes
Buying good will in hotel lobbies
Buy fistfuls of pills to make sure you don't hurt no more
You don't gotta feel anything
Got their fangs in our veins
Got their voice in our head
Got our arms in their grips
No, we can't shake free

This goddamn machine, hungry and heartless
My whole generation got lost in the margin
We put our faith in you and you turned a profit
Now we're drowning here under the waves
(We're no saviors if we can't save our brothers)
Drowning out under the waves
(We're no saviors if we can't save our brothers)
Drowning out, drowning out

You can't have my friends, you can't have my brothers (x3)
You can't have me, no, you can't have me


6. THE BLUEST THINGS ON EARTH

We sat quiet on the hill
Out just north of Wings Field
Waiting on the runway lights
We were wrapped in winter coats
And I said I'd drive you home
You'd been pulling out your flask all night

I wrapped my arms around the moment like I'm clutching a memory
You alive in your madness, in love with the night

The glow of the furnace, the ambulance lights
The bluest things on Earth don't know shit about the blues
You used to be vibrant
You used to burn bright

[Chorus]
Put out the light
In your clouded eyes
Kept you inside
Through the summer time
You put up a fight, pressing flowers at night
In a book that you love
The pieces they can't take of us

I found you shaking at the lake
A hospital bracelet still tight to your wrist
We talked to fill the empty space
Danced on the ice until it breaks
They flooded a town so this park could exist
You see us walking on the streets in your dreams

The pills that they fed you
Your half awake eyes
The bluest things on Earth don't know shit about the blues
You used to burn...

[Chorus] (x2)

These pieces they can't take of us


7. A SONG FOR ERNEST HEMINGWAY

The sky goes from concrete to charcoal
I'm laying on my back on the roof
Gonna shoot these clouds full of holes
I need some fucking light to pour through
Cause December's got me up against the ropes
And I don't know how to get loose
I can't get feeling back in my toes
From walking in circles with you
Like we're lost Canadian geese
I should be south of here already

I'll be your dead bird, you'll be my bloodhound
You're just doing what you're told
Pick my body off the ground
I'll be your dead bird...

I'm staring at Hemingway's shotgun
And I'll picture him drinking alone
He's forgetting things that he wouldn't have before
His eyes are starting to go
And I heard all about how his plane went down
After Christmas in the Congo
Read about his own death in the paper
I bet it was freeing to know
When you destroy everything worth chasing
There's no where left to go

[Chorus]
I'll be your dead bird, you'll be my bloodhound
You're just doing what you're told
Pick my body off the ground
I'll be your dead bird
Hanging from your mouth
You're doing like you're told
Gonna make your master proud
It's good to know
I didn't die for nothing

December’s got me backed into a corner again
My ears are back, my teeth are showing
I'm combing through the wreckage trying to find where I've been
I still get phantom pains but from a safer distance

[Chorus]

December's got me backed into a corner again
My ears are back
(I didn't die for nothing)
My teeth are showing
I'm combing through the wreckage trying to find where I've been
I still get phantom pains
I didn't die for nothing


8. THANKS FOR THE RIDE

I washed chain grease and blood off of my hands
In the ocean, I let salt water rinse the dirt away
I stood calm in a room I hadn't been in
In a decade, I felt dizzy, used to stand here every day

[Pre-Chorus]
Wait out the storm in a harbor town
Pretend I'll see you in Fall
Wait out the storm in a harbor town

[Chorus]
Hey Hannah, don't go
We could've given you such a beautiful home
I won't call
Know you're waiting right outside
Thanks for the ride

I watched lines of container ships drift in
Just off of Long Beach, I thought long about where you would be today
We'd lose touch after college came and went
I'd hear you got married to some boy from California
Have a baby on the way

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus](x2)

I'm letting balloons drift off
Tiny gifts to a lonely God
Darling please wake up
I'm letting balloons drift off
Tiny gifts to a lonely God
If you see her, tell her I'm not giving up
(See her, tell her I'm not giving up)

[Chorus](x3)


9. STAINED GLASS CEILINGS

Like a burning monk
You're my light flare out in the dark
You're my constant call to arms
Took the blindfold off
They'd left chalk outlines where the future was
It's a goddamn war of attrition
It's a death by a thousand cuts
And if these motherfuckers made it to heaven
They burned the bridge when they got across

They're gathering anchors
They're gathering rope
You push into heaven all alone
They're grabbing your ankles
They won't let you go
The ebb and the distant flow
They're cutting your wings off
Built you ceilings out of stained glass

Well you cut like gravel in my skinned knee
The wound will close eventually
You'll stay as a reminder of how fucked this world can be
Held your funeral on a Tuesday
Holy waters, November cold
The kid who pulled the trigger
Knew tomorrow couldn't promise him hope

All these bastards are gathering rope
You push into heaven all alone
They're grabbing your ankles
They won't let you go
The ebb and the distant flow
They're cutting your wings off
Built your ceilings out of stained glass
They were cutting your wings off
I was staring at my idle hands
Maybe I could've done something
Maybe I could've made a difference

John Wayne with a God complex
Tells me to buy a gun
Like shooting a teenage kid is gonna solve any problems
Like it's an arms race
Like death don't mean nothing
To know the heavy price of living poor
Walled in by red lines, backed into a corner
Not knowing growing up what it's like to belong here in America

If everyone's built the same then how come building's so fucking hard for you?
It's something we're all born into
Nothing's left up to gray
It's black or white and sometimes black and blue
It's something we're all born into, whoa-oh
Now I know what's in a name
Not just my father
Three-fifths a man makes half of me
Why should I bother?

Merchants of misery stacking the deck
Fuck your John Waynes
Fuck your God complex

I have everything in front of me
But can't reach far enough
To touch those fever dreams
They call America
I am the ghetto's chosen one
The privileged bastard son

They're gathering anchors
They're gathering rope
You push into heaven all alone
They're gathering anchors
They're gathering rope
You push into heaven all alone
No, all alone


10. I WANTED SO BADLY TO BE BRAVE

Well I cut open my palm and held it out to you
You do the same with your own army surplus blade
My blood's never as warm as I expect it
You grab my hand adorned in wildflower warpaint

You made yellows out of marigolds
You made purple out of camellias

We charged in first into the woods with bows and arrows drawn
Crudely fashioned sticks and rubber bands and spray paint
We swore ourselves protected from all the evil in the world
You weren't born my brother, but you're gonna die that way

[Chorus]
You ran alone (you ran alone)
In the falling snow
Bare foot down Whites Road
I watched your bruises grow (your bruises grow)
Strangely beautiful
Purple and yellow
You said don't
Don't take me home
Don't take me home
Don't take me home

Your father came in angry like a thunderstorm
Tossed you room from room and I watched color draining from your face
Fault lines started forming underneath all of your floorboards
We sat terrified waiting on an earthquake

I watched you put on a brave face
I wanted so badly to be brave

[Chorus]

Kicked you out to teach you what a man is
But I don't think I'll ever know what that means
They'll put a gun into your hand and call you weak until you're violent
Don't believe it
They're hateful cause they're empty
We've got a chance to break the cycle

We could be the heroes that we always said we'd be
Don't take me home, don't take me home, don't take me
Don't take me home, don't take me home, don't take me
Home, home
Don't take me home, don't take me home, don't take me
Home, home
Don't take me home, don't take me home, don't take me


11. YOU IN JANUARY

Goddamn you look holy
Hit from behind with light
You're a painting of a saint
And I'm nervous, stumbling over my lines
When I tell you I love you
When we stare at Catalina
The city lost to the sea
Carried out by the tides
You were the one thing I got right

Goddamn you look holy
Bathed in the January light
On the floor of our new bedroom
On the carpet with the window open wide
When you tell me you love me
I can actually see it
Your breath frozen in the air
Newborn droplets of ice
You were the one thing I got right

[Chorus]
I'm measuring heartbeats and miles away
You held me together
I used to burst and decay
We got off the airplane
A couple of runaways
I was hoping you'd stay
Could you stay?

You were the obvious one
From a taxi cab in Chelsea
Out past Salvation Mountain
You were the obvious one
From a walk along the highline
Out to Wicker Park in August
You were the obvious one
From your Upper East Side dorm room
To the South West Marin Headlands
You smile into the sand
Goddamn I hate leaving

Another early flight
I ran the dishwasher this morning
I wanted there to be clean plates for you tonight
I've grown used to your perfume
It hangs in the morning light
Wake me up before you leave for work
Kiss me goodbye
You were the one thing I got right

[Chorus]

I'm measuring heartbeats and miles away
You held me together
I used to burst and decay
We got off the airplane
A couple of runaways
I'm glad that you stayed


12. PALM READER

I bought flowers from a drifter
Cut my hand on a thorn
Straight across the fate line
I'm no palm reader but
I doubt that's the sign I was looking for

A rainy night in California
Told me you fought in the war
And I'm so desperate to do the right thing
I'm not sure what that even is any more
He found a bus stop to weather the storm

[Chorus]
I'm gonna stand up straight
I'm gonna clear my throat and speak out, unafraid
Mom, I want you to know
I'm letting everything you taught me guide me home

Faded light from the projector
It's spitting summer out on the screen
That pool we swam in caved in years ago
We filled it up with furniture and concrete
I saw right and wrong then
The lines were simple and clean
And now the people I was taught would be heroes
Are acting like cowards, killers, and thieves
I'm losing track of who the good guys are supposed to be

[Chorus 2]
I'm gonna stand up straight
I'm gonna clear my throat and speak out, unafraid
Dad, I want you to know
I'm letting everything you taught me guide me home

Coming undone at the seams
Stress fractures and muted dreams
Oh please
Undone at the seams
Stress fractures and muted dreams
Oh please
Undone at the seams
Stretched back shirts and muted dreams
Oh

[Chorus]

[Chorus2]


13. NO CLOSER TO HEAVEN

I'm digging up the bones of the failures I've buried
I'm pulling out my white flags in varying stages
Of sun bleached in gray
Gonna sew them all together
Gonna fashion their bones into a frame
Tie the flags on a string
Stretched across until they're wings
I'm no closer to heaven

I clipped a bird with my car on the freeway
He won't see a burial
And all week long I kept thinking of death
How me and Hemingway share forehead scars
I won't meet the same fate that he did
In a world that I can't fix
With a hammer in my grip
I'm no closer to heaven

It feels like the day before something important
It feels like the first snow of the season that sticks
It's how I'll always feel like a failure
In the back of my head
No matter where I've been
The future feels bright
The glow of the city
Out across the great plains
With the closer I get
The further I feel away
I can stay here in the darkness
Feels like I'm wandering in circles for days
I may never reach the gates
I'll keep walking anyway
I'm no closer to heaven

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