1. SURE SHOT

(Chorus)
'Cause you can't, you won't and you don't stop
'Cause you can't, you won't and you don't stop
Oh when you can't, you won't and you don't stop
Mike D come on and rock the sure shot

I've got the brand new doodoo
Guaranteed like Yoohoo
I'm on like Dr John, yeah Mr Zu Zu
I'm a newlywed, not a divorcee
And everything I do is funky like Lee Dorsey
Well it's the taking of the Pelham, one, two, three
If you want a doodoo rhyme then come see me
I've got the savoir-faire with the unique rhyme and
I keep it on and on, it's never quitting time and
Strictly hand held is the style I go
Never rock the mic with the pantyhose
I strap on my ear goggles and I'm ready to go
'Cause at the boards is the man they call Mario
Pull up at the function and you know I'm Kojak
To all the party people that are on my Balzac
I've got more action than my man John Woo
And I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew

(Chorus)

Hurricane'll cross fade on your ass and bust your ear drums
Listen everybody 'cause I'm shifting gears I'm
Fresh like Dougie when I get my specs and
On the microphone I come correct
Timing like a clock when I rock the hip hop
Top notch is my stock on the soapbox
I've got more rhymes than I've got gray hairs
And that's a lot because I've got my share
I've got a hole in my head and there's no one to fix it
Got to straighten my thoughts, I'm thinking too much sick shit
Everyone just takes and takes, takes, takes, takes
I've got to step back, I've got to contemplate
I'm like Lee Perry, I'm very
On rock the microphone and then I'm gone
I'm like Vaughn Bode, I'm a Cheech Wizard
Never quitting, so won't you listen

*Ah yes indeed it's fun time*
'Cause you can't, you won't and you don't stop
'Cause you can't, you won't and you don't stop
'Cause you can't, you won't and you don't stop
MCA come and rock the sure shot

I want to say a little something that's long overdue
The disrespect to women has got to be through
To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends
I want to offer my love and respect to the end
Well you say I'm twenty-something and I should be slacking
But I'm working harder than ever and you could call it macking
So I'm supposed to sit upon the couch watching my TV
I'm still listening to wax, I'm not using the CD
Well I'm that kid in the corner
All fucked up and I wanna so I'm gonna
Take a piece of the pie, why not, I'm not quittin'
Think I'm gonna change up my style just to fit in
I keep my underwear up with a piece of elastic
I use a bullshit mic that's made out of plastic
To send my rhymes out to all the nations
Like Ma Bell, I've got the ill communications

(Chorus)...


2. SHAKE YOUR RUMP

Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat
I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat
A lot of people they be Jonesin' just to hear me rock the mic
They'll be staring at the radio
Staying up all night
So like a pimp I'm pimpin'
I got a boat to eat shrimp in
Nothing wrong with my leg just be-boy limpin'
Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float
My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat
Oowah oowah is my disco call
MCA hu-huh I'm gettin' rope y'all
Routines I bust rhymes I write
And I'll be busting routines and rhymes all night
Like eating burgers or chicken or you'll be picking your nose
I'm on time homie that's how it goes
You heard my style I think you missed the point
It's the joint

Mike D yeah? With your bad self running things
What's up with your bad breath onion rings
Well I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead
Chillin' at the beaches down at Club Med
Make another record 'cause the people they want more of this
Suckers they be saying they can take out Adam Horovitz
Hurricane you got clout
Other DJ's he'll take your head out
A puppet on a string I'm paid to sing or rhyme
Or do my thing I'm
In a lava lamp inside my brain hotel
I might be peakin' or freakin' but I rock well
The Patty Duke the wrench and then I bust the tango
Got more rhymes than Jamaica got Mango Kangols
I got the peg leg at the end of my stump
Shake your rump

Full clout y'all
Full clout y'all
And when the mic is in my mouth I turn it out y'all
Full clout

Never been dumped 'cause I'm the most mackinest
Never been jumped 'cause I'm known the most packinest
Yeah we've got beef chief
We're knocking out teeth chief
And if you don't believe us you should question your belief Keith
Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat
Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet
Should I have another sip no skip it
In the back of the ride and bust with the whippet
Rope a dope dookies all around the neck
Whoo ha got them all in check
Running from the law the press and the parents
Is your name Michael Diamond?
No mine's Clarence
From downtown Manhattan the village
My style is wild and you know that it still is
Disco bag schlepping and you're doing the bump
Shake your rump


3. TOUGH GUY

Butcher me on the court
Too many elbows to report
Now you're poking me in the eye
Bill Laimbeer motherfucker, it's time for you to die

Tough guy, it's time to check yourself
Dribbling the ball like the biz can be bad
For your health
Tough guy, what you got to prove
Moving like an elephant, that's your favorite
Tough guy, your shit is going out

Tough guy

Box me out with your fat ass
Throw me around like a bounce pass
You've got a tombstone hanging over your dick
Cause a minor earthquake when you throw a moving pick

Touch guy, you think you're like the Shaq
Keep running around, you'll catch a heart attack
Tough guy, what are you giving me
The way you're playing ball, you'll stop me from living be

Tough guy, tough guy
Tough guy, you're shit is weak
Tough guy, you fucking freak
Tough guy, I'll stick I'll stick your shit
Tough guy


4. TIME FOR LIVING

Yeah, that's right
It's time to set the record straight

Ain't nobody got to spell it for me
Ain't nobody got to yell I can see
Ain't nobody got the pain I can hear
But if I have to I'll yell in your ear

Time for living
Time for giving [x4]

Ain't nobody to to spell it for me
I said ain't nobody got to yell I can see
I said ain't nobody got the pain I can hear
But if I have to I will yell in your ear

Soul fire
Soul fire
And we ain't got no water
We don't got no water

Time for living time for giving
No time for making up a monster to sell
Time for living time for giving
No time for breakin' out a lie to sell


5. THE UPDATE

I can hear the trumpets blowing screaming out the end of time
Look around and listen and you'll see every sign
The waters are polluted as the forests are cut down
Bombing and drilling deep below ground
Check the prophecies from around the world
And look around now as it all unfurls
Look into yourself and see what goes on
Get a feeling in your heart of the right from wrong
Because the mother earth needs to be respected
Been far from too long that she's been neglected
Race against race, such a foolish waste
It's like cutting off your nose to spit your face
And at the end of the wars, what was the cost
It's clear that the earth was the one who lost
We are one with her as she is one with us
It's unreal how she is treated so unjust
As our planet grows smaller each and every day
Everyone affecting everyone in every way
We're all citizens of the world community
All here together and we're searching for unity
Over the years, I've grown and changed so much
Things I know now years ago, I couldn't touch
There are things I've done that I wouldn't do again
But I'm glad that I did 'cause I've learned from them
I just try to stay present right here, right now
No worries, no fears and without any doubts
It's about time

Cause in these times, these changing times
A transition is occurring and I am not blind
As the pendulum swings a new age we enter
And with every swing, it draws closer to the center
Yes the storm before the calm and the wars that lead to love
Things must run their course so we push and we shove
But we're here to work it out in one way or another
To find a mutual respect for ourselves and one another
And the true key is a trust in self
For when I trust myself, I fear no one else
I took control of my life, just as anyone can
I want everyone to see it's in the palm of your hand
The past is gone, the future yet unborn
But right here and now is where it all goes on
I know we can fix it and it's not too late
I give respect to king and his nonviolent ways
I dream and I hope and I won't forget
Someday I'm going to visit on a free tibet
Someday I'm going to see us all joined as one
And it would be too bad to blow it up before we're done
Cause we long behind the rage learning from the pain
The love behind the tension like the sun behind the rain
I'm sending loving light to all that is
To all creation and the life we live
I'm not preaching bull shit, just speaking my mind
Cause I'm here now and it's about time


6. ALRIGHT HEAR THIS

(Chorus)
Alright hear this
Alright hear this

Because I grab the microphone and I pick it up
And then I fuck it up and then I turn it in
And then I turn it out, got the body rockin' sound
And then you know I'm gonna get down and
Eat a Scooby snack and take disco nap
Because I'm shopping at sears, 'cause I don't buy at the gap
Sending this one out to all the funky inspirations
Pretty Purdie on the drums with the beat relations
Well, I'm working on rhymes, they're coming line by line
Trying to put what I feel into word and rhymes
I've got a feeling coming on, I've got to make some shit
A little something stupid, for the twisted and sick
Because I drive like a maniac on the streets
And I don't give fuck 'cause I've got the beats
Got my nuts swingin' from left to right and
Right to left and I'm death defying

(Chorus)

I spin my fortune on a wheel like Sajak
Here's the payback keep going strong like since the way back
I try to be myself but I lose track
Cause the shit gets complicated now I've got to get back
As we learn to breed love for one another
In these times of melding cultures
I give respect for what's been borrowed and lent
I know this music comes down from African descent
Because I don't need a magic potion
Let me talk about back field in motion
My girls got cheeks for weeks and I'm happy
You know I'm a sneak like my old grand pappy
I gotta give thanks to my man Archie Shepp
For staying true to inspiration and I don't half step
So I kick out the jams and tell you who I am
And I talk to the people like Les McCann

(Chorus)

I ask god for a rhyme or two
A little something for the wise as well as the fool
A little something to affect a little taste of change
For the together and the strong as well as the deranged
I'll do you right like bobby knight
And then I'm rapping on the mic to the Broadway light
Stomp my hands, I clap my feet and
I'm bugging off Yusef Lateef
I got a match to my ass and I'm a keep it lit
I need to get some cash, call my accountant Britt
I'm rushing around town taking care of my functions
Always got one more thing so forget about function
We create this world and the problems go on
Create our lives and the things that go wrong
So to the deaf, the blind, look around and listen
To what it is you want and for what you're wishing

(Chorus)


7. RHYMIN AND STEALIN

Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about
I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out
No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder
Terrorizing suckers on the seven seas
And if you've got beef - you'll get capped in the knees
We got sixteen men on a dead man's chest
And I shot those suckers and I'll shoot the rest

(Chorus)
Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling
Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'

Snatching gold chains - vicking pieces of eight
I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate
We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties
Housing all girlies from city to city
One for all and all for one
Taking out M.C.'s with a big shotgun
All for one and one for all
Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L.
Friggin' in the riggin' and cuttin' your throat
Big biting suckers getting thrown in the moat
We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace
Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face

(Chorus)

Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Torching and crakin' and rhymin' and stealin'
Robbin' and raping - busting two in the ceiling
I'm wheeling' - I'm dealin' - I'm drinking, not thinking
Never cower, never shower - and I'm always stinking
Ho ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey
And when my girlie shakes her hips - she sure gets funky
Skirt chasing, free basing - killing every village
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage

(Chorus)

I've been drinking my rum - a Def son of a gun
I fought the law and I cold won
Black Beard's weak - Moby Dick's on the tick
'Cause I pull out the jammy and squeeze off six
My pistol is loaded - I shot Betty Crocker
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones' locker
Rhymin' and stealin' in a drunken state
And I'll be rockin' my rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

(Chorus)


8. SABOTAGE

I can't stand it, I know you planned it
I'm a' set straight, this watergate
I can't stand rocking when I'm in here
'Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my god, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage

So listen up 'cause you can't say nothin'
You'll shut me down with a push of your button
But I'm out and I'm gone
I'll tell you now I keep it on and on

'Cause what you see you might not get
And we can bet so don't you get souped yet
You're scheming on a thing that's a mirage
I'm trying to tell you now it's sabotage

Why
Our backs are now against the wall
Listen all of y'all it's a sabotage (x4)

I can't stand it, I know you planned it
I'm a' set straight this watergate
I can't stand rockin' when I'm in this place
Because I feel disgraced because you're all in my face
But make no mistakes and switch up my channel
I'm buddy rich when I fly off the handle
What could it be, it's a mirage
You're scheming on a thing, that's sabotage


9. FLUTE LOOP

So, just sit back and max and relax
Off tracks that I kick, come on and give it up
’Causel get funky like diaper rash
And you know I’m mad spunky and I’m making cash
I’ve got sex rhymes like victoria’s got secrets
To all you porne peepers who are trying to peep this
I’m like al goldstein, I’m all about screwing
Lead my team to sixty wins like my man pat ewing
Like getting shot out the barrel of a wave
Like virgin pow on the peaks of a.k.
Like a sound that to the depths of the soul
Well that’s the feeling that I make my goal

A little wine with my dinner so I’m in the grape ape
I feel like a winner when I make a mix tape
Because I get ill when I’m on the pause button
And I get my fill and you can’t say nothing
More soul on this train then don cornelious
Got the mad subwoofer pumping bass for your anus
Just getting on the mic at the monthly function
Wires hitting switches connecting at the junction
Perlman’s got beats and it ain’t no secret
Dante found his sh*t but you know he freaked it
And so the story goes on and on
Down in s.d. 50 ’till early morning.


10. HEART ATTACK MAN

Drink a six pack and then you play some ball
Walking down the stairs and then he starts to fall
Add on two joints and then he starts to sweat
Two hundred seventy five pounds that you can't forget

Heart attack, heart attack man
Spend all your money on your health insurance plan
Heart attack, heart attack man
Keep on getting bigger because you know that you can

Why do you force yourself on top of that girl
Laugh with all your buddies because it's a man's man's world
Someday that shit will come back to you
You've been throwing your weight around and
Your shit is through

Heart attack, heart attack man
Going nowhere, got no master plan
Heart attack, heart attack man
Heart attack

Weighs in at two seventy five
My man is lucky to be alive
Smokin' and drinkin' too
The heart attack man is gonna be running over you
Got no god damn respect
Had to put the big big bitch in check

Heart attack, heart attack man
Lungs full of tar and a stomach full of spam
Heart attack, heart attack man
Time to change your ways heart attack man


11. SABOTAGE

(See lyrics on track 8)


12. THE UPDATE (Special Effects Version)

(See lyrics on track 5)