Diary Of Dreams : End of Flowers

Darkwave / Germany
(1996 - Accession Records)
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1. END OF FLOWERS

Monuments of grace
Discharge my credits
The future is my past
Take a risk - survive

Fortunate belief
Enter - communicate
Contrasts - black and white
Disgusting beauty

Roses dying
Just in secrecy
Children crying
Their flowers bloom
Innocence rejected
Virginal deceit

Secret
Hidden
You dare to speak

Learn to fake
Learn to feel
Learn to heal


2. VICTIMIZED

And have you seen
Through the curtain of my life ?
Get down to the rescue -
For my shelter - mental incest
Archaic disciples
Offer their support
But who to fuck am I to dare to accept ?
So take your victimized lies
Take your generous disguise
Sceptic privilege of mine
To the conquest of an angel
To the defeat of a beast
Glued to senses
Attached to all I need
And continuous monologues of insanity
Blood in floods
Rushing - longing
Urging to believe
Give me strength
Give me idols
Give my dreams a rest
Reality accepted... or not...?


3. A FOOL TO BLAME

Autumn leaves are falling
A kingdom left behind
Aimless steps in silence
My crutches fall

I crawl along this path
A stare - possessed
I cannot remain conscious
I sink to the ground

Have you crowned me
To kill a king ?
Or did you just need
A fool to blame ?

Why have you disguised me ?
I urge to bare

Your wisdom slaved
To my debility
You abused my senses
In case of need

You made me depend
On stranger's hands
A kingdom falls
A king, a fool to blame

And how could you dare betray me -
To astray - in paradise


4. SCARS OF GREED

O`angels come to guide me in my sacred land
Thine holy glance enlights my chamber
Stranger worlds in fractal thoughts
A gentle thrill
I'm crowned with thorns
Who will remember this ?
Quiet doms of whispering circling in my head
Collapsing mental boundries
Draconic lips of mine
And angels still corrupting with a silent word of wisdom
O`angels find their sacred land
In my debility they bloom
Kill my flesh
Kill my skin
Cure my sore
Cure my belief
A wince, just to regret
To wear a willow
A wince, just to regret self - sacrifice
To wear the willow- lost within
And grieve for what I've lost - a mournful eye
My thirst for life embodies prayers at night
I sentence myself - a wilful execution
Disclaiming innocence indeed
O`angel find their sacred land in mine
What they have never dared to be
O`angel find their sacred land in mine
Where they can be what they greed
O`angel find their sacred land in mine
For they can still make me believe
O`angel find their sacred land in mine
For they have crowned me ......
......Crowned with thorns


5. OBLIVION

Immortal hatred longing
For what I've done to you
A shattered dream of greed
Confess of a faded bloom

Reminded day by day
The scars just cannot heal
Still unforgiven guilt
Am I a child within your hands ?

Tear my heart out, let me fall
Keep my faith enclosed in walls
Like a child within your hands
Close my eyes and let me fall

Into oblivion I urge
For you I dare to feel regret
A sacrifice I cannot fear
How can I cure what you protect ?

Immortal hatred longing
For what I've done for you
A shattered dream of need
Moments without truth

A mournful sacrifice
The scars will never heal


6. COLD DECEIT

Crucified in my mortal chamber
Begging eyes deceive my strength
Stumbling feet into horizons
Tear - stained cheeks taint my soul

In cold deceit

In captive secrecy still waiting
For the truth that I can't find
A stranger's words in cryptic silence
My paradise in cold deceit

While my sympathy is dying
I loose belief of who I am
Victims fatefully united
Imploring now in seclusion

Have you seen through my disguise ?
In cold deceit
Have you felt my shattered eyes ?
In cold deceit


7. RETALIATION

Enemies adorned by childish innocence
Dictators rule
Granted words you offer
I urge to spread wings of decay
Bridges fall to split the nation
Walls enrise for better days to please
Draining ditch - water from my eyes
Retaliate
A veil of mystery I feel
Blindfold in obscurity
In the shade of a tree
I cannot remain here
My sweetest passion
My sweet, sweet revenge
My sweetest passion
My sweet retaliation
Hammering on my fragile ideals
In a cage of manic patience
Drawn into a growing chaos
My intentions seem to fall
My state of mind an inferno
This mind, which cannot comprehend
A torment to my conscience
My objectives lost in frozen shades
Engraved
The scars of time
Yet never healed
But still, the spark of hope does never rest
My sweetest passion
My sweet, sweet revenge
My sweetest passion
My sweet retaliation


8. WILLOW

Just give me nails
To be my burden

Crucified emotions struggle to survive
And the truth, she has not heard for long

Cold and bare, but sacred ?
Who has the guts to spread such lies

A picture of a willow - with a widow in black
A child ton bear - in blooming beauty

For she gave birth to dust

Roses covered by a layer of snow
Freezing wind surrounding,
What you call holy feet
Just a child without a wooden cross

Afflicted hands towards heaven
How could you dare deny ?

How can you blame a widow
For detesting who you are ?

Bare of sore - touch naked boundaries
And empty hands - a widow's life


9. DEVIATION

And the place was burning
Where once my cradle stood
Memories still yearning
For what my childhood took
In peaceful shelter I may rest
Just instincts of salvation
O'deviate from the within
But hate I may not feel
A nations decay within my eyes
Imploring still in vague seclusion
A tear from a child's eye- obeying still
But fate just ties together
What's my flesh ?
And what my skin ?
What my privilege ?
And what a sin ?
Have I come to stay
What I can never be ?
Have I come to beg
For a new identity ?
....to blame...
O` I have tried to fly
But I did not have wings
I have tried to speak
But I did not know how
Like a new-born child
I have tried to trust
Reaching out
But my cradle burning
A nations decay within my eyes
Imploring still in vague seclusion
A tear from a child's eye- obeying still
But fate just ties together
Just memories today
Yes, I exist, but do I also live ?
I must deviate from the within
But hate I may not feel


10. EYESOLATION

Raindrops fall to cleanse my soul
The song of whales tear me apart
My eyes still stray along this shore
A seagulls` plaint adoring mine

My tongue too weak to speak a word
O` was I born to be misunderstood
Fingers touch, but do not feel
O` tired seem my restless eyes

So tired is my smile
In my endless depth of guilt
A cripple of my fear
And the needle serves me well

Memories now wash ashore
I feel remains of sympathy
Imagine the ability
To gather roses in winter....

Somebody
Something
Welcomed me
On the other side

Dank and gentle
Moist and soft
Almost like lone

The needle serves me well

But whom have I to blame ?
Just the cripple of my fear
Just call my disguise
The needle serves me well

The needle serves me well
But whom have I to blame ?
So tired is my smile

Was I born to astray
In my endless depth of guilt ?
Just a cripple of my fear

Just call my disguise
Just almost like love
And the needle serves me well....


11. TEARS OF LAUGHTER

I would be crying tears of laughter
If I could see me smile again

I still reach for the stars, but all I touch is my horizon
I still believe my eyes, but all I see is my blindness
I still reach for the stars, but all I touch is my horizon
I still believe my ears, but all I hear is lasting silence

Like a disciple of a witness
I judge upon my sacred eye
Still found the origin
In what's left of me inside

Ca I call this my burden
Or is this just my dream to fly ?

Weaker, weaker every day
I forgot my urge to fly away

And is my life as bare as it is ?
Cold and lonely enough ?
Have you achieved what you were longing for ?
Sad enough this cannot be undone

I drop my eyes and shiver as I see
The reflection in the mirror of me

Have you given up, my friend ?
Forgiveness be mine

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