Blue October : The Answers

Alternativ Rock / USA
(1998 - RoDan Entertainment)
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Lyrics


1. THE ANSWER

If I can't crawl inside of you
I'm laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self-esteem
But to picture the pleasure
Is making me want my space
Understand
That God wrapped you like a bow
But in my head
There's some shelves that need cleaning
From basement to ceiling, control

If what you're seeing is an open book
That's great, well I'm an open book
But I'm real shy
Now there's a part of me seeking
And desperately needing to open up
That's strange cause I'm an open book
A confused boy

Chorus:

And I'm an automatic steeple
For depressed and lonely people
My heart, while in it's cage
Is used to give and not receive a thing
But the only funny thing is that
I don't know how to give myself advice
And I've got this post-traumatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger
That's where I want to state this claim
That I've got to learn to live and dream
Before I go and get myself in love
In love
Before, before, before I go and get myself in love

There's Zoloft, Welbutrin, there's Paxil that's proven
No side effects
But the rest left unnamed
Cause they'd work like a charm on me
But when your savings is drying
You can't stop from crying
You've got to suck it up
You're not her buttecup
You're not her favorite book

Chorus:

And I'm an automatic steeple
For depressed and lonely people
My heart, while in it's cage
Is used to give and not receive a thing
But the only funny thing is that
I don't know how to give myself advice
And I've got this post-traumatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger
That's where I want to state this claim
That I've got to learn to live and dream
Before I go and get myself in love
In love
Before, before, before I go and get myself in love

2. 2am LOVESICK

I walk like a burnt-out porn star
With aching feet for a car
My buddy had a baby with a girl named Star
Makes me appreciate how the little things are
But crossing the road isn't easily told
To a young has-been centerfold
Labeled the winner's episode

Yeah, I'm really clean, if you know what I mean
Except for this reoccuring dream
Of losing total feeling
While the windmill's squealing

I paint to kill the dead saints
I paint to make it clear
My colors run in blue and grey
But they give hope to someone dear

Two AM lovesick
With a walking pneumonia drum kick
And this candle doesn't have a wick
But I'm really not that sick
I'm not that scared

I walk like a burnt-out porn star
With aching feet for a car
My buddy had a baby with a girl named Star
Makes me appreciate how the little things are

3. THE 21st

The 21st comes so soon every month
An anniversary of not being strong enough
You're much too co-dependent
A shrink is recommended

Your father tells you to try to be responsible
Your mother loves you
But not the way she did before
Your brother's torn to pieces
Nobody knows the reasons

He loves the winter
But it smells too much like memories
The ornament she gave him
Still hangs from his Christmas tree
A jingle bell will glisten
That's when she loved to kiss him

So say farewell
To all the little things she would say and do
The morning sleepy-eyed girl
Waves goodbye to you
You're much too co-dependent
A shrink is recommended, yeah

But yeah, who the people you hang around with?
Who the ones you gonna call
When you feel like ending it all
But yeah, who the people you hang around with?
Who the ones you gonna call
When you feel like ending it all

But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down

4. BREAKFAST AFTER 10

White kitchen walls with a thousand windows
You turn on Winston in the den
And I'm still asleep, but I can hear the piano
When you make breakfast after 10
And I smell the coffee on your fingers
I still smell the perfume in the bed
The crushed linen roses are on everything
And you're still inside my head

Chorus:

You gotta make her know how it feels
To miss you
Let her know you're swapping sides
You're not the one with all the problems, no, no
You're the one with all the pride

So just pick your head up, boys, and walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
Cause in a month or two she'll call you
You gotta hang up the phone

And I hope she knows I've got this memory
That won't ever seem to break or bend
A thick lock and sheet rock is on my windows
In the kitchen, no
I don't think I'll ever take em down again

And I've learned a lot from all these
Break-ups and make-ups and fuck-ups and fake-ups
Things that I wish you could comprehend
Yeah, comprehend
But for now I'll lace up my wingtip shoes, boys
And I'll, I'll go have breakfast with my good friends

Chorus:

You gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you're swapping sides
You're not the one with all the problems
You're not the one with all the problems
You're the one with all the pride

You gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you're swapping spit
You're not the one with all the problems
You're not the one with all the problems
She's the one that's full of shit

So just pick your head up, boys, and walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
I know you know
That in a month or two the bitch will call you

5. ITALIAN RADIO

I ended the book that I'm writing
The part about you, I'm tearing it out
A simple goodnight, stop fighting
There's nothing left to even read about
I'm leaving you here, my darling
To search for a better and easy way out
Through all of the pain that I'm causing
There's nothing left to even sing about

Chorus:

But it goes ba-ba-ba-ba by-ah-ba-dum-ba
Ah-ba-day-de, ah-ba-day-de, ah-ba-day-de
Ah-ba-da-da-da
Ra-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba by-ah-ba-dum-ba
Ah-ba-day-de, ah-ba-day-de, ah-ba-day-de
Ah-ba-da-da, yeah

Recorded Italian radio
I changed up the words to make you happy, though
In front of the midnight music show
I beat up, I beat up the boy that made you happy, though
Ro-bo-bo-bo-bay
I've noticed the things that you want me to be
They outweigh the ones that make me happy
So pull out your hands and meet my,
Mmy fine new lady
She's rock-and-roll, and she saved me

6. FOR MY BROTHER

It would simply say everything
If you would take a pen
And write my name on friend
Who never cared to let me in
Then take a fast ravine that for
Three years swimming straight upstream
And the wind
The wind will drag me down in the end

You live inside my wall and I
I reach back, hit you harder than God falls
Christ amen, amen, amen
You're such a line to break and I
I'm so scared to make another mistake in the end
But I just want to be happy again

Chorus:

Until it all falls down
And where does that leave me?
With things, things, I've got so many things to say
And with a broken heart and a straight face
I'm saying, "brother, help me"

It's just a natural phase that I
I go through and then it's taken away
And then bam! bam! I'm fixed
But I'm in another place to be where I
I can't sleep without the thought of me being so
So damn sick

But take this song, take this song away

Chorus:

Until it all falls down
And where does that leave me?
With things, things, I've got so many things to say
And with a broken heart and a straight face

And he says, "Reach for the girl
Reach for the girl and hold her close
Believe you can shine when you're silver
And I promise you gold, I promise you gold
And whenever you're dark inside, don't let go
No, don't let go
Remember there's rain, and there's candy
And Christmasy winter snow
And remember I love you the same
And I'll strange your pain"
And he tells me to sing, and I sing
And I sing for my brother who keeps me sane
And tells me, "Everything will be OK"

I'm so alone
God, I'm so alone
I'm so alone

7. SWEET AND SOMBER PIGEON WINGS

The sweet and somber pigeon wings
Can't we all recall when Mama and Papa
Were the sweet-tooth Christmas ball
I said, a picturesque holiday family
Yeah, of course I was small
And all I knew was my Grandpa
But I really didn't know him at all, I said

My blood, my cousins, my calvary
Yeah, a piece of them gone but still I feel them strong
When I reach for David, cause our Grandpa's gone
I shout out, I got love for the family
Yeah my mother's a doll
And my father can stop any brawl
Pucker up, I'd like to kiss you all, I said

But open your eyes
A new song cause the family's wrong
So don't lecture me (don't lecture me)
But as far as I can see
The step-mom, yeah the widow's palm
Is what's crushing me
And this family
It's beyond my time
Yeah, it's beyond my time

8. WEAKNESSES

My weaknesses
Rear their ugly faces
On a day-to-day basis
Stay calm and try to see this
I'm always sensitive, relaxing
Always delicately asking

Chorus:

But I can't seem to fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
And all I want to do is crawl, yeah
Fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
And all I want to do is say

How to cook up pride?
Well if you lemon your behavior
It will slide a different flavor
And how to change my mind?
Well if you break apart the candy
Gently slip it in my brandy

Chorus:

But I can't seem to fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
And all I want to do is crawl, yeah
Fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
All I wanted, wanted, all I wanted
All I wanted, all I wanted, all I wanted, you
Say!

Hold you candle high
Well if they jeopardize your meaning
You must strike upon their ceiling
If I'm right then who am I?
Well I am simply just that candy
That you slipped within my brandy

But I can't seem to fly
I can't seem to fly

Chorus:

I can't seem to fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
And if he says that it's my calling
Fly away
Feeling tall, small, sick of it all
And all I want to do is say

9. BLUE SUNSHINE

I see your heart beat through the bedsheet
I feel your pulse against the floor
I sleep the sadness that no-one else sleeps
Feel me cunningly adore

As the tick-tock clock lies Goldilocks
What a sick enchanted view
Of the white blot sin that we all begin
Not the girl that I once knew

Blue sunshine
I've got no vacancies
At the top of the clock was Jesus spying on me
I spoke of friends
Point me which direction
I tried a bribe of when I died
But swore he mentioned
I kicked and screamed
It's simple, you must sing
The day I take you, you'll be sleeping
You won't feel a thing
A thing

10. MR. BLUE'S MENU

Brownie and a cup of coffee
As she waits my table
As she smiles when able, from the inside
And who'd have thought a cup of coffee
Would make my legs unstable, shaking
Under the table, must be stage fright

Chorus:
It goes ba, ah-ba-de-da, ah-ba

Would it really phase me?
If I had all the toys of
All the club-scene boys with you
Would it really kill you?
If you would try to have a good time
Instead of screwing up mine
Like you usually do

Chorus:

Yeah, da-da, ah-hey-hey-hey, I'm in love

Brings a cup of a coffee
And she sits down slowly
Another chair is holy from the inside
And who'd have thought a cup of coffee
Would make my legs unstable, shaking
Under the table, must be stage-fright

Chorus:
Yeah, da-da, ah-hey-hey-hey, I'm in love

11. DARKEST SIDE OF HOUSON'S FINEST DAY

He's scared
Her ship arrived and came in yesterday
The darkest side of Houston's finest day
You fell asleep, my love
And I fantasized
That the wind blew harder than it ever did
This song we started, will it ever end?
You fell asleep again

Well goodbye
With shaking hands I dropped it instantly
Then kicked the phone and stood invincibly
Then started to cry
But I'm twenty now
And I want to see my nineteenth year again
Hold on to me
You are the closest thing I've ever had
To a real friend
To a real friend, friend, friend

12. TOMORROW

Tomorrow
I'm gonna find a way to die
I'm living only for a lover
And the death of you and I
But if you find a way to break my back
With needles, thread, and guilt
Will you cover me in kerosene?
And burn my strychnine quilt

Yeah, will you spit upon the path I took
Will you cry from all the drugs I shook
Will you be my little comedown hook
And I'll never ask again
Will you wake up feeling half of you
Has been stripped away or torn in two
But to kill a young man's point of view
Is to kill his only friend
Oh, oh

Tomorrow
We're gonna find a place to live
I'm packing only means for redwood dreams
It's the place that you'll be accepted
Oh fuck the world
Just a boy and a girl

But it's that leech you'll have to shake
Through the love we'll need to make
Call me sure
Yeah, I'm sure, I said
I said I'm open wide
But you really have to understand
We'll build the water slide
If you're brave enough to hold my hand
Oh, oh

13. BLACK ORCHID

Have you ever been so lonely?
There's no-one there to hold
Just pull me in or disown me
And then climb inside
My arms are open wide
Have a look inside

And it is not that I am scared to learn
Just why I'm empty inside
Just hold my hand to show some concern
If I live or die
My eyes are open wide
Help me look inside

I hear the water drip from the faucet
It's sweetly falling in tune, ooh no
I'm gently closing the closet
And I fall to the floor
Crawl to my room
The thought of ending it soon
Just let me sleep in my room

Hear me cry
Cry
Cry
I hear a knock at the front door, don't come in!
I try to look at you but I can't stop shaking
Leave me alone, just go away
Mother, I'm so scared
I'm so scared

An empty bed, but all of my sheets are gone
They're wrapped around me and you
And all is quiet but the drop of my gun
Cause I, I want to belong
To someone
But maybe life's not for everyone

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